How to Handle Your Parents’ ATAR Anxiety

Do your parents seem more stressed about your ATAR than you are? Sometimes it can feel like they’re the ones sitting the HSC, not you.

They might say things like “We’re trying to do better in Maths” or “We’re hoping to get into Law”, while constantly reminding you how anxious they are about “our” results.

But here’s the truth: it’s your HSC, not theirs. And the only way to achieve the results you want is to manage both their pressure and your own workload.

Why They’re So Invested

While it’s easy to get frustrated, remember that their anxiety usually comes from love — and perhaps a fear that if you don’t land a high ATAR, you might miss out on opportunities for a well-paying job and, in their eyes, never leave home.

It also doesn’t help that when they walk in to check if you’re studying, they seem to catch you scrolling Instagram instead of working through essays or practice papers. They miss the hours of productive study you actually do.

Try a More Open Approach

Instead of shutting them out, try full transparency. Tell them about your preferred university or TAFE course, the ATAR you’ll need, and the skills required for your chosen career path. Invite them to school events where ATAR calculations and processes are explained, and encourage them to talk to your teachers.

Yes, this might give them more “fuel” to pressure you, but it also helps them understand exactly what you’re facing — which can make them feel more like allies than critics. If you’re feeling stressed, be honest about it. Once they know, they may switch into problem-solving mode, which can ease tension on both sides.

Understanding Their Perspective

Your parents’ anxiety might be linked to regrets about their own education or career choices. While it’s not fair to carry their ambitions alongside your own, there’s value in learning from their experiences. Perhaps they didn’t have the same opportunities you do now. Accepting this shared sense of purpose can sometimes turn pressure into motivation.

Rather than pushing them away, let them help in small ways — like making you a cup of tea while you study. You could even teach them some of what you’re learning; explaining concepts to someone else is a great way to reinforce your knowledge.

Keep Perspective

Don’t let their stress push you into burnout or rash decisions. If their anxiety starts to overwhelm you, consider confiding in a relative, friend, or teacher who can step in to mediate. Sometimes hearing from another trusted adult that balance is important can help parents relax.

And remember — the final years of school feel intense while you’re in them, but they pass quickly. Life goes on, and soon no one will care what your ATAR was. Eventually, your parents will move on to other concerns… probably starting with when you plan to move out.

If at any point you feel you need structured support that benefits both you and your parents’ peace of mind, Aussie Edu Hub offers personalised tutoring to help you prepare effectively for the HSC and approach your ATAR goals with confidence.